Don't Let Go
by craycray3
Summary: Amy is at very low point in her life, buried in the depths of depression; and Ian is there to dig her out, and show her the sun again. One-shot. R&R Disclaimer: I own nothing and I will update cover image later... Enjoy!


**Hello everyone! I hope you enjoy reading this (mostly) edited version. Not really much to say... so straight on to the disclaimer & story :D**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the 39 clues, or 'Even My Dad Does Sometimes' by Ed Sheeran... Because I am not Ed Sheeran, who could probably buy the 39 Clues franchise pretty** **easily... and not have to write disclaimers...**

 **Anyway... hope you enjoy!**

Don't let go

* * *

Ian stood unusually still on his private balcony, a soft breeze rustling his short raven hair. It was late, and he naturally assumed that the rest of the property was asleep. It wasn't uncommon for him to spend the majority of the night just thinking, though he was rarely asked about the bags beneath his eyes.

Ian presumed they had been chalked up to stress.

On occasion Amy had found Ian gazing out on a starry sky, although she promised she would not tell a soul. Ian sighed, loosening a breath and stood up to make his way to bed. He wasn't sure why it bothered him if any of his myriad of cousins knew where Ian spent his free time, he supposed it was merely because they would tease him mercilessly if they discovered he too, was actually susceptible to human emotions.

He paused, a faint crying was echoing through the shadowy halls. Ian frowned, walking around the large estate, until finally tracing the sound to Amy's room, the noise rising in volume as he progressed. Slowing quietly outside her room, where the source of these heart-wrenching sobs would be found, he wondered whether it would be intruding to knock.

Ian pushed that thought aside and gently rapped his knuckles on the door. No answer. He pushed the door open, but even though the sound of sobbing was louder and a reading light glowed subtly in a corner, there was no one to be found.

Ian allowed himself a small smile, Amy's room was just so Amy... from the soft bed, laden with pillows and comforters, right down to the corkboard dedicated to upcoming release dates for highly anticipated books.

Running a hand down the side of one pale green wall, Ian wandered even further into Amy's room, peering into the attached bathroom and wardrobe. When he still saw ho sign of Amy, he started walking faster, panic starting to lace through his troubled thoughts.

Ian quickly paced onto her balcony only to stop short, releasing a breath he didn't know he was holding. There she was; sitting on the railing of her own balcony, only thin frosty air between her and a 20-metre drop.

Just as she had always dreamt she would, Amy began to slide further off the edge, her cries growing louder and louder until they became unbearable, then all of sudden, subsiding.

The flame inside of her that had sustained and motivated her had long ago flicked out, but now it's embers seemed to turn even blacker, even further gone. Ian ran forward, his heart lodged firmly up his throat.

A heartbeat later Amy slipped, falling, tearing her way through the wispy air, her fiery red hair trailing behind her. Amy's world spinning for the last time as Ian reached out, his fingers brushing hers; the space was too great, time too short.

She transcended into the void, a swirling black mass beneath her. Her hand extending to touch it, seeing her reflection in the oily black surface before ripples obscured her vision.

Ian gasped in effort and relief as his hand grasped hers, but she was heavy, and it took some time before he was hauling her up and over the ornate balcony railing. Amy was still crying softly, her head down.

Ian gently rested his hand on her cheek, brushing away a tear with his thumb. His hand was rough and calloused against her soft skin, the touch sending another shiver down Amy's spine.

He lifted up her chin and looked at her face. Amy's rich rosy hair was the only redeeming feature of the cheery mask she wore for her brother and family. Her cheeks were sunken, heavy bags carrying the weight of worlds bruised just beneath her eyes.

But Amy's eyes, her eyes were what made his breath hitch, what made him feel like shriveling up into a ball just so he would never see such unmasked misery in those dull orbs.

They were rimmed with red, and her usually sparkling emerald irises were dimmed almost to grey. She was broken, and Ian had no doubt that when Amy had let go of the railing she had given up on life, on hope, and him. Ian's heart was breaking just looking at her.

"Why?" He asked softly,

Amy lifted her head and looked Ian directly in the eye, "Because when you loose the things I've lost, witnessed the things I've done and seen, you would know that there is no coming back from any of it. No redemption can exist for me"

Ian nodded, choosing his words carefully before he chose to speak "Maybe not, but you still have family and friends that care deeply about you. Maybe you've let them down in the past but they don't mind. They're here for you; I'm here for you. Maybe you're not broken, just bent. But there's nothing in this world that can't be fixed. No matter how far gone they may be." He paused for a moment, "Give life one more chance will you? If not for you, for me."

Another tear slid down Amy's cheek, "That's a lot of maybe's Ian. You can't know for sure any of it. How would you know if I'm not broken beyond repair?"

Ian looked at her fiercely, "because you're here, with me. Not spattered on the concrete below. Because you let me save you. So _try_ Amy. You're stronger than you think. I _know_ you have some fight left in you. So fight damn it!"

"For you... I can try, maybe," she whispered. "I don't think I'm ready to fight yet, but I'll try."

He smiled softly, wrapping his arms around her waist and she leant in to him, all internal barriers crashing down, dams overflowing and flooding down in salty tears on to his shirt.

Thanks to Lucian training, Ian knew what it was like to feel pain. To have fire spreading through your veins and setting alight your very core. He knew what it was like to feel so worthless you wanted to let go and end it all. He didn't however; know what it was like to wish for such a painful end. To want to collect scars, to suffer in agony as the only way to compensate for your sins. No. He didn't know what that was like. But Amy did.

Amy buried her head in the crook of his neck and cried. Tears slid down Ian's face, mixing with Amy's and soaking both their shirts. He could remember a time just after the clue hunt, after a long recovery, when Amy's buzzy and luminous aurora alone could light a room.

Her eyes would glow so brightly that you could almost see her internal fire raging. The fire that kept her going, kept her strong.

Hers was a strength that he had both envied and admired. The memory was faded, disappearing from Ian's thoughts as stealthily as it had come. It seemed so very long ago that anyone was capable of true happiness.

For how long they sat there, curled in each other's embrace neither knew nor cared. The frosty night air sliced through their every layer, but it went unnoticed; as did the gentle drizzle that had begun to wash the salt off their cheeks. Ian began to hum softly. Amy pulled him closer, and Ian began to sing.

* * *

It's all right to cry; even my dad does sometimes;

So don't wipe your eyes, tears remind you of your life;

It's all right to die, cause death's the only thing you ever tried;

Just for tonight, hold on;

* * *

Ian's voice was breathy and raw; full of raging emotions, barely concealed in the soft melody.

* * *

So live life like your giving up;

Cause you act like you are;

Go ahead and just live it off;

Go on and tear me apart;

It's all right to shake;

even my hand does sometimes;

So inside the rain is the dying of the light;

It's all right to say that death's the only thing you ever tried;

Just for today;

Hold on;

So live life like your giving up;

Cause you act like you are;

Go ahead and just live it off;

Go on and tear me apart;

Hold on;

* * *

Ian began humming again, soft and beautiful, his breath breezing softly past her tear stained face.

* * *

So live life like your giving up;

Cause you act like you are;

Go ahead and just live it off;

Go on and tear me apart;

Hold on;

* * *

Ian lowered his voice to a whisper for the final line. Silence descended. Ever so timidly, Amy raised her head.

His heart leapt as a shadow of hope was gleaming in Amy's eyes, the ghost of a smile gracing her lips.

"You really care?" Amy's voice sounded foreign, her throat raw from crying.

Ian nodded "I always have love"

Amy smiled slightly more at the sound of her old nickname.

"You're not alone Amy"

Amy gazed up at him, her eyes shining. "Thank you" she breathed. Ian raised and pulled Amy to her feet. "Will you be ok for now?"

Amy nodded. "For now."

Wordlessly Ian walked Amy back into her room, and gave her a quick kiss on the top of her head. Ian turned to leave but Amy grabbed his wrist urgently "stay, please."

Looking at the desperation in her eyes, the terror, for what she might have done, might still do without him there to support her, tore away just a little bit of his soul.

Ian barely hesitated before sitting down in a cushioned armchair by her bed. Gripping Ian's hand tightly, Amy tugged the sheets over her head with her free hand and with surprising calmness, drifted asleep.

"Goodnight Ian"

"Night love"

And for the first time in a long while, Amy welcomed sleep with a smile on her lips.

* * *

At some point during the cold wintery night, Amy had slipped beside Ian, embraced by a sleepy haze, pulling her blanket behind her.

And so, the following morning, they found themselves sleeping soundly in the armchair beside Amy's bed, curled up snugly within her duvet's fluffy folds.

Amy's head resting on Ian's shoulder, Crimson hair falling loose around them; Ian's arm snaked tightly around her waist; still gripping Amy's hand, fingers intertwined, to his chest.

It was a promise.

To never let each other go.

* * *

Amy wearily awoke, not yet bothering to find the strength to open her eyes.

Memories clouded her thoughts, and the previous nights events came rushing in. It was too surreal, she had been to secure, too protected from the precipice of death for it to have actually happened.

Even now she felt cold. Whatever warmth sustained her throughout the night had evaporated with the stars. A tear, soft and slow trickled down her cheek, leaving a salty trail in its wake.

Amy wasn't new to this feeling of grey despair, washing over her, dimming the light and painting over her thoughts and dreams. But her last had been the only unique one in some time.

She hadn't fallen to hear that sickening crack on the bitumen below. To have her blood spilling uncontrollably from her body. To be forced to wait in agony for darkness to consume her. Someone had saved her, sung to her, actually cared. Amy longed to remember his face, but she supposed it didn't matter anyway. It had only been a dream.

Nobody would ever care enough to save her. Another tear, fell smoothly onto her shirt; Followed by another, and then she was crying again, like she always did, realizing, that there never was, and will never be, any hope for her.

All of a sudden there was a hand caressing her side, a voice in her ear, telling Amy, that she would be ok. She twisted, leaning into the warmth, tears still streaming down her face. She began opening her eyes, coming face to face with... Ian?

His caring, gorgeous amber eyes told her that he was who had helped her last night, when she had attempted to give up in reality, without the safeguard of a dream to fall back on. When instead of falling, Amy had flown.

It hadn't been a dream; being here with Ian, feeling like there might just be hope for her, had not been a mere deception of her depressed mind. Deep inside, embers began to glow.

Her fire sparked, waking from its eternal slumber. For so long it had been stagnant, ceasing to exist for so long in Amy's faded memory that it might as well never been a part of her.

But now as the heat began to grow, the light becoming brighter, her tears slowly evaporating, Amy decided resolutely, that she would try, not just for her, but for Ian, for Dan, for hope.

She looked back at Ian, eyes illuminated from the flames beginning to rage, overwhelmed with gratitude for saving her from the void, for preventing her from taking her own life, for saving Amy's very soul from what she would have become. The light around her was no longer dulled to grey, she could see, and feel so much more.

"Thank you," she whispered softly, barely enough air escaping to form the words.

There was nothing more to be said. Nothing Amy could say to represent how she felt right now. And nothing he could say back.

Ian embraced her in a tight hug, and Amy hugged him just as firmly back. A grin, real and happy, and huge spread across her lips. Her joy was mirrored on Ian's face, this moment was perfect, nothing could spoil it, and nothing could dampen the now roaring fire inside her.

There was no doubt she had a long way to go, and it would be tough to fully recover her damaged mind, but with Ian by her side, she could do it. He would stick by her, through every up and down And so would She by him. Amy's fire was growing, slowly, but steadily. And soon it would be wildly beautiful.

But most of all, she would never let Ian go.

* * *

 **Hello! Thanks for reading this! I hope you all enjoyed it, despite the many grammatical errors... This IS the supposed edited version but if i've missed anything, you are welcome to let me know!**


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